Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Silliness, Squared

Sheryl Crow needs a hobby.

If she’s fretting about the lengths of toilet paper involved with our clean-ups, Crow is definitely in need of a more constructive focal point. How does one even have the time (or the stomach) to dwell upon the disturbing visuals undoubtedly produced by imagining the efficient application of one sheet of TP?

Exactly how this dearth of toilet paper will square (you should pardon the term) with all of those private celebrity jets green-gassing up the atmosphere is beyond the cognitive powers of this particular member of “the little people.”

When I watched the Academy Awards in February and heard the triumphant announcement that “the Oscars have gone green,” I couldn’t help but wonder when the hybrid-fueled, Oscar community bus is scheduled to start unloading the environmentally responsible stars, en masse, onto the red carpet. Wouldn’t a hybrid bus or two save precious fuel resources? With the usual traffic jam of one-by-one stretch limousines delivering their famous cargo on Oscar night, the only thing “going green” was the color of the smog blanket over Los Angeles.

Evidently, Sheryl Crow didn’t notice that. She must have been in the restroom.