Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Bard's Birthday

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears...

~ Julius Caesar III, II

Today is William Shakespeare’s birthday, and, in a poetic coincidence, also the anniversary of his death (1564-1616).  In honor of this auspicious occasion, Chicago Mayor Daley has declared today "Talk Like Shakespeare Day."

For those of you who consider vocalizing in Shakespearean style a tough assignment, it’s much simpler than you think.  In fact, you probably quote Shakespeare quite often.  Allow me to demonstrate the ease with which a modern day speaker of the English language may quote the Bard, with unwitting fluency and even a preponderance of clichés.   Let’s pick a topic, shall we?  How about something timely, such as the startling performance of Barack Obama during his first 100 days in office? 

Shakespeare’s words appear in boldface type:

Although we waited with bated breath for the brave new world President Obama was to bring us, we now find that there is neither rhyme nor reason in the monumental, wild-goose chase that this self-acclaimed tower of strength has ushered in.  In fact, at times it seems a foregone conclusion that Obama is the devil incarnate, giving our country short shrift in his lengthy speeches, which are often too much of a good thing.  While he is never tongue-tied, Obama should consider that brevity is the soul of wit.  His long-winded orations are, in one fell swoop, making us a laughing stock around the world.  Tut, tut! 

For goodness sake!  It appears we have seen better days, according to our feckless leader.  Truly, we as a nation are in a pickle.  But for Obama to ignore the foul play that lurks in wait for us is to risk leaving us all as dead as a door-nail.  What the dickens!  Obama plays fast and loose with our national security and refuses to budge an inch from his foolish policies. What a piece of workI look forward to the day when we can send him packing and say good riddance to the blinking idiot.  I’ll be so happy I will laugh into stitches and say all’s well that ends well.