Thursday, September 14, 2017

"The Dog Ate My Homework" and Other Excuses

Hillary Clinton has a new book out. With the unintentionally comical title What Happened, Clinton expects a reader to sit back and drill through 512 pages of finger-pointing fury.

Sorry, Hill. Not this bookworm.

The list of reasons why Clinton thinks she lost the 2016 presidential election is breathtakingly long and exhaustive. It was because of Vladimir Putin, James Comey, President Obama. It was because of Bernie Sanders, Jill Stein, Steve Bannon. It was because of racism, sexism, misogyny, bad polling, suburban women. It was because of the Democratic National Committee, the Electoral College and Citizens United. Even Facebook and Netflix are called in for some accountability. Perhaps the most amusing target of Clinton's wrath is the media--not just the "right wing media," but "the mainstream media." Seriously!

By far the most insulting, belittling and condescending excuse Clinton presents is that white women were somehow mind-controlled by the men in their lives to vote for Donald Trump:
“Women will have no empathy for you because they will be under tremendous pressure — and I’m talking principally about white women — they will be under tremendous pressure from fathers, and husbands, and boyfriends and male employers, not to vote for ‘the girl,'” 
In your dreams, Loser. I'm a white woman who has been voting for president since I was in college. There is not a man in my life who ever once tried to sway my vote. Of course, all of the men in my life knew better than to make even a feeble attempt to do so. My vote is mine. And all those women who voted for Donald Trump? Their vote was theirs, too. No one walks into the voting booth with us. And women are not stupid, despite your obnoxious insinuation.

So since you're having such an existential struggle with the lamentable obtuseness of the American woman, Madam Secretary/Senator/First Lady, let me explain to you "What Happened." Americans--male and female--didn't want you to become president. People didn't trust you, didn't like you, didn't want you leading the country. You're a liar, a fake, and a criminal--a bad combination to overlook simply because it's "your turn" to be president. The country is tired of listening to your voice and couldn't tolerate the thought of another four years hearing it. So I guess you'll have to settle for 512 pages of blame and bitterness.

Neither blame nor bitterness are leadership qualities. If you read between the lines, oh superior one, you'll see plainly that's What Happened.