Sunday, February 10, 2019

A Bad Deal for Cows

What was that about farting cows?
I heard the original version of the Ocasio Cortiz Green New Deal being read on morning radio last week, after it was newly posted. Much of the proposal made me chuckle, but the "farting cows" were too much for me; I was laughing so hard, I had to sit for a moment to recover. One can't apply eyeliner amidst tears of laughter.

It took "AOC" more than a day to remove the comedy script that was the first version of the "GND" from her website, after the social media ridicule became too ubiquitous. But somehow, that first version was a Republican hoax, according to one of her advisors. I find that hard to believe, simply by reason of the grammatical train wrecks that "AOC" consistently issues. The original proposal and FAQs had her style written all over them. They were rife with sentence fragments and thirteen uses of the word "massive." Aside from lacking basic grammar skills, "AOC" apparently doesn't own a thesaurus (or know how to use one).

In referring to the "unfinished" GND documents first posted on her wesite, "AOC" warns that "There's also draft versions floating out there." That's a singular verb with a plural subject. Whatever her accomplishments in college, it's certain that "AOC" didn't get an "A" in English (if that subject is even a requisite anymore in "higher education").

With the revised rendition, the necessary extinguishing of "farting cows" no longer appears in the text of the GND. That's comforting. At least Americans can continue to enjoy steaks and ice cream for the foreseeable future. But if I were a farting cow, I'd be nervous.