I traveled last week, from west to
east, to bury my mother. What I experienced during my trip has convinced me
that the entire COVID-19 parlor game needs to end. One might say that the
idiocy of "staying safe" has been "unmasked."
For all the power-crazed politicians
and government officials playing emperor with our lives and livelihoods, I have a
couple of questions. Why is it "safe" to shop and stand in line for a
half hour at Lowe's with several dozen strangers, but "unsafe" to have
a funeral in a church with relatives and friends? How is it "safe" to sit within six inches of a total
stranger for several hours on a crowded airplane, but "unsafe" to stand within six
feet of your siblings for ten minutes at your parent's graveside?
When we got back in our cars after
leaving our mother's grave, we ripped off those masks. When we arrived at my
brother's house, we hugged each other. Outside, on the patio, we sat close to
each other and talked all afternoon. We visited with each other for several days after Mom's unceremonious burial--nieces, nephews, aunts and uncles all together, no masks and no
distancing. No one in my family has been sick.
My mother lived a full century, and she
deserved a better tribute at the end. Mom was always all about her family. She
had a multitude of relatives that certainly would have been part of her final
earthly events, had they been allowed to be present. The lockdown's ban on funeral gatherings is cruel and stupid--two
detrimental elements that often go together. The illogical, arbitrary rules of
lockdown prevented our extended family from being together at a time when we needed to
be with each other the most. It was a time to celebrate a life well lived, to
share happy memories, to lend comfort to each other, and to reinforce the
enduring bonds of family.
Mom was not fond of wakes or funerals,
so I can comfort myself with the knowledge that she would have been fine with
the way things unfolded. I'm the one who's hurting; I've never felt so cheated
in my entire life.
Considering all the ridiculous contradictions in "staying safe" that I saw during my travels, I'm wondering in hindsight. Perhaps I should have inquired about
holding Mom's funeral service at either Lowe's or the airport.
