History Close to Home

Every time an old person dies it's like a library has burned down.

~ Unknown

Her name was Helen; she was my mother-in-law for thirty-eight years.

As the end of World War II drew near, Helen and her parents fled with the clothes on their backs as Stalin's tanks rolled triumphantly towards her village in Latvia. Those who stayed behind, including many in her family, were executed, imprisoned, or became serfs to the brutal rule of Soviet Communism.

She spent seven years in displaced persons camps, first in a German camp, later escaping to an American camp that held out hope of immigration to the U.S. She married her husband, my late father-in-law, in the camps. Her eldest child and only daughter died of pneumonia at age three in the hospital barracks. That same day, she gave birth to her first son, Peter. When Peter was still an infant, Helen arrived in the U.S. with her husband, child, and parents.

She spoke no English, but learned enough to get by while working as a nurse's aide. She had a second son in America, took care of her parents up until their deaths, worked hard and prayed faithfully every day of her life. In later years, she cared for her ill husband for years before his death, and then she nursed a sick family friend until his death. Five years ago she endured the death from cancer of her son Peter, my husband.

The past couple of years, Helen was in a nursing home on the East coast. At the very end, her surviving son and her only granddaughter--my daughter Kristine--were both with her. I'm so grateful they were there; after all she had given in life, Helen deserved that comfort.

Helen died today, at the age of 93. Now all those personal stories of loss, pain, terror, hardship, and hope in the wake of the second World War have gone with her. I will never be so close to a person who experienced firsthand the great global cataclysm that was World War II. It's not just a part of my life that's ended; it's a chapter of history gone, one often overlooked and almost forgotten. I wrote about it several years ago; it's linked here. If you can find the time, please read it, because the story of the Baltic states is now untold. Not enough people know what the people of the Baltic republics suffered. In view of today's headlines, the story of tyranny and how it flourishes in silence is worth relearning.

As for Helen, I can never thank her enough for her son, for my children, for the love she showed all of us. For the delicious gingerbread cookies at Christmas, for the pierogs on special occasions, for the apple pie from heaven, for all she did for everyone.

Paldies, Mom. Thank you. Please give Pete a kiss for me, too.

Just One Daughter

You may be just someone in the world, but you are the world to someone.
~ Anonymous

The scenes from Japan following the earthquakes and tsunami are all terrible, but it’s hard to conceptualize such devastation. The sheer vastness of the disaster overwhelms our comprehension.

Of the hundreds of images I’ve seen, the entire tragedy can be compressed into this one photo of two parents looking at the body of their daughter inside a mangled car. No matter how many pictures I see of fires raging through cities, smoke billowing from nuclear plants, piles of twisted debris, or cargo bins scattered like broken Legos, I come back to this one photo of a family in ruins.

The mother is crouching and reaching into the wreckage towards her dead daughter; the father is standing back a bit, arms slack at his sides, as though trying to absorb the shock of his loss and the fact that he is unable to help. This picture tells one family’s story. These bereft parents represent untold thousands of personal tragedies that are unfolding across Japan.

Devastation can strike any country at any time. In our busy and comfortable lives, we can easily forget that we are mortal. For now, it is Japan’s turn to remind us.

Fate vs. Free Will

The newly released film, The Adjustment Bureau, confronts the eternal question of free will vs. predetermined fate. Do human beings exist in the confines of one or the other, or are both forces at work in each individual life?

Because this concept is a compelling one, and because I heard the director interviewed last week, I decided to see this movie. Was that fate or free will? There's no telling, but it was an entertaining decision. Matt Damon is pitch-perfect as David Norris, the charismatic political candidate who falls in love at first sight with the beautiful Elise, played with soulful enthusiasm by Emily Blunt.

However, their love affair is "off plan," according to the Adjustment Bureau enforcers. These mysterious, super-human beings control and direct our destinies. Whether they are angels, devils, or something altogether different is not addressed. But one thing is for certain--they can really ruin your day.

There are some humorous aspects to these creatures that I suspect are unintended. For example, they need to be wearing some kind of hat to have any powers at all--even a baseball cap will do. Water impedes their effectiveness, putting the viewer in mind of Oz's Wicked Witch of the West. Also, during the movie's innumerable chase scenes, the Bureaucrats are in constant search of which magical door to open next to continue pursuit of their target. For a film junkie like myself, that's too close to the Marx Brothers for serious viewing.

But the film moves at a rapid clip, with the action always layering towards the satisfying conclusion. Set in New York City, the exterior shots give a gritty feel for the city and some lovely panoramic scenes. While in the theater, I had the sense of watching a lengthy, upgraded episode of The Twilight Zone. "You unlock this door with the key of imagination..."

And don't forget your '50s style fedora.

Oscar Ennui

We are such stuff as dreams are made on...

~ The Tempest, Wm. Shakespeare

Really? Well, once upon a time, Hollywood seemed such a place to me.

Never have I been more detached from Oscar proceedings than I am this year. I've seen one nominated movie in the theater and two on DVD. Aside from that, I'm completely uninformed, and happily so.

The King's Speech, which represents my one trip to the movies, was an excellent film. Whatever prizes it collects will seem justified to me. I watched Toy Story 3 on DVD and thought it inferior to the previous two movies. Inception, another DVD pick, would more aptly have been titled Incomprehensible. Good acting, quality production--nonsensical story.

I'll watch the pageant tonight, as I always have since my teenage years. It's a personal tradition. But sadly, never have I cared less who might win.

Educational Wasteland

"I get paid whether you learn or not."

- American teacher, quoted by a former student, in Waiting for Superman

The current government workers' stand-off with the Wisconsin governor over entitlements provides a timely background story for a viewing of Waiting for Superman, the award-winning documentary about the sorry state of our nation's public schools.

Michelle Rhee, former chancellor of Washington D.C. schools--which are, ironically, the worst in the nation--puts it best. She remarks that the teachers' unions are "all about protecting the adults." In the unions' calculated war to protect teacher tenure and taxpayer-funded pensions and healthcare, it's the children, especially poor ones, who are left out of the equation.

If you care about education in America, watch this film. It will make you angry, break your heart, and offer a ray of hope at the end. Waiting for Superman is a movie every parent should see.

The Storm Gathers

Allah is our objective, the Prophet is our leader, the Koran is our law, jihad is our way, and dying in the way of Allah is our highest objective.

~ The Muslim Brotherhood

Andrew C. McCarthy paints a harrowing picture of how ill-equipped our current president is to deal with the grim realities on the ground in Egypt.

McCarthy, author of The Grand Jihad: How Islam and the Left Sabotage America, knows what he's talking about. He convicted the terrorists who planned and executed the 1993 World Trade Center bombing.

Today's geopolitical climate is frighteningly like Europe's in the 1930s. Not enough people are paying attention to the gathering storm.

Chilling Reality

"It is going to be a long two years. You see, the world has figured Obama out, and the wages of our version of 1979-80 are coming due."

~ Victor Davis Hanson

As the turmoil in Egypt continues, my worst nightmare has come true. We are in the midst of an international crisis, and our president is Barack Obama. It is difficult to imagine anyone in politics today less qualified to negotiate for American interests in the perilous waters of Middle East foreign policy than our current "citizen of the world" president.

Victor Davis Hanson's website has extensive, insightful commentary on the dangers of the current Egyptian unrest. Where the crisis in Egypt is headed is still a mystery, but one thing is almost certain: President Obama will perform his usual fence-walking act, with customary bombast and no action.

Even more chilling is the probability that the president has never heard of, let alone read and learned from, The Looming Tower by Lawrence Wright. The Muslim Brotherhood must be rubbing its collective hands together with absolute delight.

A Story of Life and Love

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of mankind.
~ Author Unknown

A few years ago, at a college reunion, I spent time catching up with a “dorm buddy” I hadn’t seen since graduation. We met for lunch and shared all our family news from over the years. She has two adult sons, but she told me she had borne a third son who did not live.

Nancy told me that half-way through her third pregnancy, tests revealed that her baby had severe health issues and would not survive. A devout Catholic, Nancy had talked to her priest about the grim medical verdict. The priest asked her to consider one question: “What if they’re wrong?” After much thought and prayer, Nancy made the brave decision to carry her baby to term.

Her baby boy was stillborn. Nancy and her husband and their two older sons spent the afternoon together with him in a private hospital room. They baptized the baby and named him Brian. Nancy’s two older boys, at that time ages seven and five, each took turns holding their baby brother.

When Nancy’s sons were in their early 20s, they revealed a sweet and startling secret to her. During the tumultuous adolescent years, when parents and teen-aged kids often clash, her sons told Nancy that they would sometimes go to the cemetery to visit Brian’s gravesite, to talk to their little brother about all of their troubles with Mom and Dad. Both of Nancy’s sons said that they always felt better after doing this, and that solutions to family issues often seemed obvious after these visits.

By the time she finished telling me this sad and touching story, Nancy and I were both in tears. She told me that she thinks about her lost baby every day—in fact, she mentioned that the following Monday would have been Brian’s 21st birthday. But she knows that Brian’s brief moment on earth served a vital purpose for her family. Brian’s story is a beautiful testimony to the value and importance of every human life, no matter how seemingly pointless its earthly existence might have been.

I don’t know if I would have enough courage to make the difficult decision that Nancy made. But on this day that marks the 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the story of Nancy and her baby Brian is certainly worth telling.

Five Years Later

Dear Pete,

It's hard to believe that today marks five years that you're gone. Sometimes it seems like yesterday, while at other times I feel like decades have passed. I know you're safely outside of time and all its constraints. But let me tell you--time is a force to be reckoned with.

You would be turning sixty years old in a few days. I'd be planning some kind of shindig, for sure. Maybe a party for your friends, maybe a trip to New Mexico to see that mysterious staircase built without nails that you used to talk about. You liked the legend that either a saint or an angel showed up, built it, and vanished. I may have to go and check it out on my own someday.

The kids are fine, as I'm sure you know. And I'm doing all right. I'm working, taking classes, seeing my friends, walking Riga every day. You'd be proud of all the work I've gotten done on the house--all by myself! I was quite the princess while you were around, never allowed within two rooms of a repair or installation. So I've had to figure out a lot by myself, sometimes the hard way. Even in heaven, the thought of me strolling into Home Depot must make you shudder.

You were right when you said I'd be okay. It's taken a long time, but I've reached a certain level of peace with my situation. I'll never like it, but it's livable. I think that the C. S. Lewis analogy comparing the loss of one's spouse to an amputation is the most accurate description. A physical part is missing; there's no escaping that fact. First there's shock, then grief, then adjustment, and finally, after much pain and effort, one arrives at a manageable life. But the constant awareness of the missing part never ends.

There's still plenty for me to be grateful for, with much joy to be shared among family and friends. Life is good. But when I wake up in the morning or lie down at night, I'm always aware of what's missing.

"Bad Things Happen"

If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place of training and correction and it’s not so bad.
- C.S. Lewis


It’s been a long, sad week in our country.

Five days ago, Americans of all ages, from a 9-year-old child to senior citizens, lay dying in a Tucson parking lot. Many more were wounded, some grievously so, and will face long and difficult recoveries. Yet within minutes, the media rants against “toxic rhetoric” accomplished nothing more than—well, toxic rhetoric.

Politicians pounced on the opportunity to lobby for gun control and the Fairness Doctrine and to advance their political agendas by loudly condemning “vitriol” in public discourse. “Vitriol” seemed to be the word of the week, with “rhetoric” running a close second. The fact that the killer is an apparent lunatic did not quell the irrelevant narrative about the culpability of cable news, talk radio, and former vice presidential candidates.

All the media and political flailing achieved nothing--except disgrace. When blatant ideological agendas are more urgent than grief over murdered innocents, we as a people are in a destructive place. The ugliness published and broadcast this past week was symptomatic of a deeper illness within our culture. It was a sign of the compulsion to demonize those who disagree and the selfish need to win at any cost—even if that means climbing over the dead bodies of children and grandparents.

I’m no fan of Barack Obama, and I didn’t see any coverage of the Tucson event last night. I’ve been so sickened by most of the media that I couldn’t bear to watch. But from what I’ve read today of his remarks, I think he made his best speech ever.

He remembered in detail all of the dead victims, about most of whom we have heard precious little in all the media scrambe for political points. He offered comfort to the families and encouraged us to aspire to higher ideals. He discouraged "vitriol." Probably the most true and important sentence in his address was:

“Bad things happen, and we must guard against simple explanations in the aftermath.”

In short, President Obama acted like a leader last night, with a leader’s focus on the truly important and an understanding that it is incumbent upon us to meet, defeat, and rise above the evil that surrounds us. If he starts acting like this all of the time, I could actually begin to respect him as president.

Time will tell if he truly believes the scripture he quoted:

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
~ Psalm 46

Let's pray that it is so.